Archive for March, 2006

My Best Friend

He's taken you away from me

My best friend is gone

We used to be a pair

Nothing could tear us apart

We used to have this force when we were together

Now I'm just second hand news to you

 

I want it like it was before him

We were just fine with two on our team

But I think you quit and started a new team

with him

 

Your so distant from me now

I want my best friend back

I feel so abandoned

I feel so betrayed

Please listen to me

I've never felt so much pain 

 

 

For My Great-Grandpa

Grandfather

I thought you would be around forever,

around to see my first child.

Although you had just become eighty you were still young.

It's hard seeing you just laying there

without a movement or a sound.

You don't look like the great-grandfather I knew.

There were so many things I wanted to ask you about life.

What was it like back then?

There was so much to learn from you

but I find out I'm too late.

No more big bear hugs that I always hated.

No more teasing me about boys.

No more coloring books and crayons.

No more sitting on your lap in the orange chair by the lamp

with the long chain, we as children were never allowed to touch.

No more garden swing and that old outhouse.

No more ice grinder, no more playing spoons.

No more basement with the cold floor.

No more of that awful bright light on that noisy camera

at Christmas and Thanksgiving.

I was always proud to let it be known that I still had a great-grandparent.

You were always happy to see me.

I was never bad in your eyes.

You never got mad at me for anything I did.

You always had a smile just for me.

And for that grandfather I will never forget you.

I love you.

I will miss you.

Goodbye. 

 

 

 

read at my grandpa's eulogy and a copy buried with him 

Darkness

Something is moving in the dark

I can feel it next to me

I can't see it

Touch it

It's presence is surrounding me

 

It's dead

Like the corpse I had seen

on the bed earlier that day

Just there face down in the sheets

 

My life is like the corpse

My soul the sheets

Problems too big to face

I hide in the dark

 

Will it steal me away from the darkness

or

Will it take me deeper in

 

It takes me in its arms

The blood drains from my limp body

Now I must lie on the bed

Face down in the sheets

For some lost soul to find me

on it's journey for peace 

Yes, I Have

Yes I have lost you

I have tried

To find even a thread

of hope

of love

of anything

Anything to show me you care

 

I have written poems

about you

for you

just you

Is this my last

I don't know

I still love you

 

I have cried

for myself

for you

for love

I don't know why I do it

The world is so cruel to me

You are cruel to me

 

I sickens me

That I still think good of you

Think of you

Even love you

 

Yes my dear you have taught me

and taught me well

That when the heart is

Ripped

Broken

Crushed

Blood stains

The heart dies

And is given no more 

For You… Anything

Mental Termoil

Suicide

Blood

Comes death

 

For love

I would die

For hate

I would scream

For you

Anything 

Life is

Life is only what you make of it

It is only what you want it to be

Don't blame anyone else for your problems

or mistakes

They are only as big as you make them

Take advantage of what you are given

The first chance may be the last

If you try you will succeed

You are given only one life

Don't waste it

Don't look back years from now

and wish you had done different 

Do Not Go On

Do I love you

Yes I do love you

Am I in love with you

Yes I'm in love with you

Could I live without you

Yes

Do I want to live without you

No

 

I chose you over all the others

That makes you the most special

in the world, I guess

You have grown in me, you are in me

You have shown me things I had never known

 

I do not speak for fear that you do not love me

 

Wait

Do not go on

Let me have the courage to speak

If you love me give me that courage

 

I bleed for you

I am torn 

Forgotten

Have you forgotten

How you said you loved me

 

I know you think

I've found someone else

It's not true

I'm sure I could never love anyone

but you

 

You are on my mind

Night and day

But I'm never sure

What it is I should say

 

I love you

I need you

I want you

 

So would you please tell me

How you feel about me 

Give Up a Lover

To give up a lover

Is one of the hardest things to do

I am constantly reminded

That he is not there

I still love him

I always will

but I had to do it

For me

Giving up a lover

Is so hard

So hard to do

 

I will always love you

my dear 

Worth

So what am I worth

Can you answer me that

See I don't know

Can you please tell me

Please, Please

Could you buy me with money

Am I priceless

What?

Please tell me

I really need to know

Will I ever feel

that I am worth something 

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